Marriage Is All About Your First Loves

Not many people marry their First Love, but marriage is still all about falling in love for the first time.

Marriage and First Love. Seems like they should go hand in hand. I remember my first love… me and Donna, sitting in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g. First comes love. Then comes marriage. Right?

Or maybe not.

Not everyone marries their First Love. Actually, it might be more accurate to say that outside of romantic comedies almost no one marries their First Love.

That’s probably good. Even in the age of Facebook, I have absolutely no idea what Donna from my 2nd grade class is up to these days. We never sat in a tree together, much less k-i-s-s-e-d or married. And, no offense to Donna, but not marrying her isn’t one of my regrets in life.

Alright, I know. Most of us aren’t thinking of a 2nd grade crush when we think of our first romantic relationship. Instead we’re thinking of our first adult heartbreak or what “might have been.”

Still, first loves that can be among the most important parts of being married. I think these first loves can be divided into two types.

The first of these are the loves that couples introduce one another to or discover together for the first time. A lot of the interests I had when my wife and I marriage, almost 15 years ago, have been replaced by new interests. And a lot of those interests would never have crossed my path were it not for my wife (for example, science fiction stories, sports, art, and, well, our kids). Some of these loves we discovered together. Some we introduced to one another.

All of them can be traced back to times or places that we shared.

Take sports, for example. I never watched sports at all as a kid — — except once every four years when my stepfather, who is Spanish, and I watched Spain’s national soccer team exit the World Cup early. The summer I fell in love with my wife, I talked her into watching the 1998 Spanish team with me. It became a tradition we’ve repeated every four years since. In 2006, after our 3rd World Cup together, my wife suggested we try watching football. At the time, I didn’t know…

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