Too Considerate or Too Kind?

A very close friend who I will miss greatly once told me that I seem to always put other people first. She insisted that it wasn’t a bad thing, but given the warmth of who I know her to be, I suspected that she was concerned and thought it was a dangerous approach to living.

On many other occasions, I have also been told that I am or can be, too kind.

It’s a thought that fascinates me equally as much as it can often infuriate me. I’m human. I can’t always like everything I hear. I mean… Is it possible to be too kind and too considerate? Is kindness a good thing that we can get and give too much of?

I suppose it could be but it seems only if the outcome of said kindness was negative or carried with it some inherent risk. Say, for example, wasted kindness, exploited consideration or simply being taken for granted.

There’s an underlying truth that I think we often skirt around or sweep under the rug. It’s that we expect the same kindness and consideration to be extended to us (understandably so I might add), and if it isn’t then we shouldn’t have gone out of our way to offer it in the first place.

It makes me wonder whether genuine kindness or consideration can exist in or with such a give-get or buy-receive transaction-like expectation. It might signal a need to really search our hearts for how we define kindness much like how we definitely need to redefine our concept of success too.

I could dwell on this forever but if I do I know the greater point I want to make will be missed. It’s something I have noticed throughout the course of my life. I wouldn’t say I’m particularly insightful or analytical; observation is just a muscle I have exercised fiercely as a quieter, more reserved and introverted individual. It’s not like I have much else do ;)

So what did I notice?

Those who have can often find it difficult to give because they have a deep sense of fear of what the experience of not having might be like.

Those who have not often find it easier to give because they have a deep sense of empathy for what the experience of not having is.

I could very well be wrong here or even projecting. What’s more, I am certainly not advocating for kindness and consideration regardless of capacity or circumstance. After all, we cannot pour from empty cups.

And so, this final thought is for you.

I hope that a world that can believe in the idea of being ‘too kind’ or ‘too considerate’, doesn’t turn you cold.

I pray that interactions and past experiences that have left you feeling like you gave more than you should have don’t make you cruel.

And perhaps my greatest wish of all is that you remain both kind and considerate and at the very least when you need to, be cautious because at the end of the day genuine kindness and consideration will only make our world better.

Sure the kindness we give may not return directly to us but I’m willing to wager an arm and a leg that it will find its way to someone else and with that, it will be what helps us allheal.

It will help chart a different path to the one that we have been on for far too long.

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