It Must be Tuesday in Australia

To: Marcia Reed

From: NT Franklin, Foreign Correspondent

Down Under in Warragul, Victoria, Australia

Dear Marcia,

After the hard week in Cairns, I needed some time off. Oh, I don’t expect you to understand, but you aren’t here in this stressful situation — you can’t imagine the weighty decisions I face daily such as what to wear and what time to get up. But I am back doing my duty. It was quiet in Warragul while I was gone, I think they kind of missed me. There was a note from the realtor suggesting that I should consider cutting the grass. I’ll have to give it some thought. Perhaps it would be better to cut the grass than face the wrath of lawn-maintenance driven Australians. It is reassuring that they would at least be polite about the whole deal.

True hard-core Cheerios freaks need not apply to Australia. That’s right. Good old Cheerios are not to be found here. I’m not sure if this is a marketing blunder or a blatant and organized attempt by the Australian government to deny entry to certain subversive types. I suppose that does sound like a great deal of organization by any government. I question whether a country can be considered civilized in the absence of Cheerios.

I am getting into a routine here, but I still have trouble with some things. Coles store has a sign that reads: Open 24 hours. I saw this and was proud of myself, knowing that I could dash out on Saturday night if I ran short of food staples. I was on an emergency “food” run at 8 p.m. on Saturday and Coles was closed. If you saw a sign that a store would be open 24 hours, what would you think? Coles store, with the open 24 hours sign, is open 24 hours between 7 a.m. Monday and 5 p.m. Saturday. In The County, I would expect a store open 24 hours to be open 24 hours. Not here.

There is a public library in Warragul. I haven’t been of course, but the rest of my family has been there. That can’t come as a big surprise, but anyway, it is not open on Tuesday. I asked someone about it, thinking that I could take every Tuesday off for some sort of Visiting Yankee to Australia National Holiday, but that is not the case. Apparently, the library is simply closed on Tuesday.

I don’t know what to make of the sign at a local store: Open five and one-half days. After these sorts of experiences, I don’t have the courage to inquire which five and one-half days they expect be open.

Since I am writing this, and it might be Tuesday, do you forgive me for taking time off, Marcia?

NT

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