The Power of Reframing Your Mind

Many of us pray and ask the universe to unfold for us. We want that car. We want that house. We want that perfect relationship. We say it with our words and soon life begins to work for us. Yet many times we can’t see the forest through the trees. We expect things to be easy. We want things to be easy — and in my experience it’s often not that way. I’ve been told “no” more times than I can count. I’ve been let down, disappointed, and let down some more. Yet I sometimes ask myself is this really what’s happening in my life.

Life has a way of supporting us in our story and in our journey. It’s very difficult to be able to see that at times, but this is why it’s important to reframe your thoughts to help create positive changes in your life. Here are five steps to creating a healthier outlook on your life circumstances:

1. REFLECT

I’ve often found that once I begin to reflect on my current circumstances, I think back in my life and reflect on the things I’ve asked the universe for. Once this happens I’m able to see things differently. When disappointment hits, it feels like life is working against us, but more times than not I begin to see that life is working in my favor. The earlier we can begin to ask ourselves hard questions and see how the mirror we call life is reflecting our truth back at us, the sooner we can begin to grow from our truth.

2. CONFESS

This is a pivotal step and it may sound difficult, but I’m not talking about confessing to someone behind a wall or even your therapist. I’m talking about confessing to yourself. We will build walls and twist painful truths, but until we realize our own faults and our own shortcomings, we’ll never grow into who it is we’re supposed to become. I always say this, if you can’t be honest with yourself, who exactly can you be honest with?

As there is power in the tongue, there is also power in the pen. Something that really helped me unpack a lot of things swirling around in the confines of my own mind, was journaling. Ask yourself hard questions. Ask yourself WHY you felt that way? Ask yourself WHY again, and again, and again, and one last time. Slowly you’ll begin to see some things emerge that you didn’t realize before.

*One thing I’ve learned that was really important in this process, was to ask myself IN ALL THINGS, WHAT IS THIS ABOUT ME?

I find this to be extremely important in helping you come to terms with the areas in your blindspots that need to be addressed to step into your full potential. It’s much easier to blame an external source (ie: someone or something), and doing this doesn’t allow us to be accountable to ourselves in our own story. So while in this step of being honest with yourself, be fully honest!

If things get really tough, remember to breathe! There is magic in our breath which helps to calm our nervous system!

3. REFRAME

Now that you’ve had some time to own your narrative and make it work for you, it’s time to reframe the story. When we become armed with facts and knowing that the universe is working in our favor, we can begin to make those adjustments that have prevented us from moving forward in healthy ways, because ultimately until we begin to choose ourselves first, we’ll continue to have the same story revisit us over and over, just wrapped up in a different circumstance. So seeing the truth behind it all will begin to unlock your full potential.

4. ACCEPTANCE

Things happen in our lives and that’s just inevitable, but far too often we focus our energy on our hurt and disappointments. I’ve learned that it’s important to accept the fact that somethings just don’t happen the way we expect them to. Over the years I’ve learned to become in tune with my emotions and feelings. By doing this I can accept the fact that I’m a human being first, and that disappointment is something that happens to us all. I’ve come up with a rule for myself.

That rule is to give myself a day or so to acknowledge the disappointment that may have entered into my life. In that space and time, I’m mindful however to not live in the hurt. It’s very easy to become trapped in a world where we are the victim, when we can surely become our own savior.

5. GRATITUDE

This is the step that helps it all come together and prepares you for whatever life gets ready to throw at you next. I’ve often found that when I spend some time to reflect and reframe the things that are happening or have happened in my life, the more I’m grateful to understand that it wasn’t “bad luck” or anything like that. It was simply life showing up to help me become who it is I say that I want to be. In this space of gratitude show yourself grace and mercy. Show yourself love for your past mistakes and give thanks for the opportunity to learn and become a better version of yourself.

So although it may be very difficult for one reason or another, just know that it’s ok to love you more. It’s ok to acknowledge your past and to face your present. Doing these things with honesty and conviction for YOURSELF, will allow you to truly live the life you were destined to live. All you have to do is think back to who it is you said you want to become, and buckle up when life shows up to support you in your truth.

You’ve got this!

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